1 Lent B
Sermon given on
2/16/97
By Rev. Valerie
Ann Hart
At St Alban’s
Episcopal Church, Brentwood
Mark 1:9-13
I
find the timing of Christ’s temptation in the wilderness very interesting. Here
he is, just having been baptized. He, as had many others, had come to this
strange person John who was preaching repentance, transformation, and asking
people to recommit themselves to God - to turn themselves over to the care of
God and symbolically acknowledge that commitment, that new way of life, with
baptism.
Jesus
must have in some sense recommitted himself to God. He offered himself to do
God’s will and showed that commitment through entering the water with John.
What he discovered was that he was so much more than he could have imagined
(now I don’t want to theologically argue about how self aware Christ was, none
of us will ever know for sure, but let’s assume for this day that his humanness
was showing.) What Jesus discovered, when he committed himself to God, was that
he was the beloved Son of God, and that God was pleased with him. And
immediately he went off into the wilderness and was tempted.
What
happens to us when we finally give up trying to do things ourselves, our own
way, when we admit that we are powerless, and we make a decision to turn our
will and our life over to the care of God? Well, the first thing we discover is
that we are so much more than we ever imagined, we are beloved children of God,
and then we find ourselves struggling with temptation.
It
is like a limousine that is being driven by a driver. For years the driver has
gone wherever he wanted. He choose which roads to drive, often he found himself
at dead ends because he had no particular place to go, or in a ditch, but he
continued to make decisions and learned to cope with driving. Then one day,
there is a knock on the window between the driver’s seat and the passenger area.
The driver discovers that not only is the owner riding in the limousine, but
that the owner has woken up and has now decided that he will decide where the
car will go. A great battle ensues over who will decide where the car goes and
what roads to take, how fast to drive, etc. In this image, the driver is the
ego - that sense of ourselves that is the decision maker. We all have an ego,
and it serves an important job. It drives the car, it makes practical
decisions, and it has learned to survive, to keep us alive, through the chaos
of our lives. But it has no destination. It just drives, so often it ends up in
dead ends, or off the road. At some point in our lives we wake up. Then our
higher self that longs for God wakes up. That part of us that knows what is right
and good and wants to return to a state of grace wakes up. Perhaps it has taken
an accident, a crisis, or we were awoken by a word from someone. But at some
point we decide that this driver, this ego, is out of control, is not leading
us to where we really want to go, and we attempt to reassert our authority as
the owner of the vehicle.
This
is equivalent to when we decide to turn our will over to God. We decide that we
will follow where God leads. BUT!!!
It
is not that simple. Often there is a feeling of relief and release as we offer
ourselves to God. We discover that we are loved by God and we yearn to follow
God’s will, BUT!!
Our
egos are in the habit of deciding where we go and what we do. In fact our egos
are just full of habits. And habits do not dissolve easily. We find ourselves
wrestling with ourselves. The better part of ourselves continues to turn our
will over to God; our habitual patterns keep popping up. The ego realizes that
if this newly awake owner really takes control, the ego’s control is over. The
ego feels like it will have to die. And one thing that our egos are good at, in
fact their purpose in life, is to stay alive.
Jesus
turned his life over to God at his baptism and then had to struggle with the
temptation to listen to his ego instead of to God’s will. And what a temptation
it must have been. To know on the one hand that you are all-powerful and could
rule the earth with the flick of your finger and on the other hand to know that
to follow God’s will would mean walking steadily to the cross.
A
commentator on this scripture wrote: “Temptation is made up of the illusion
that happiness can be found in anything less than God, and for something less
than paying the full price, which is ourselves.”
Christ
was tempted to take the easy way. Christ was tempted to follow something other
than God’s will, yet out of love, out of love for us, he choose his own death.
We
are tempted over and over again to follow our old patterns, our old habits. We
are continually tempted to think that we can find happiness someplace other
than with God. We are tempted to look for happiness in things (one more
purchase and I’ll really be happy) in relationships (when I find the right
man/woman then I’ll be happy) in addictions (just one more drink won’t hurt) in
work (with the next promotion I’ll be content) or in so many other ways. Yet
none will bring us the peace and joy we are truly seeking. That is only found
in God. But it is found at the cost of our own egos.
We
are tempted to think we can do it on our own, but we cannot be made whole
without first giving ourselves wholly to God.
I
am so glad that the story of Christ’s temptation is a part of our scriptures,
for it is so reassuring to know that I am not alone in facing the inner
struggle between the part of me that yearns for God, that yearns to give myself
wholly to God, and the part of myself that still insists on being “in control.”
And it is reassuring to know, that with God’s help, I can conquer those
temptations one at a time.
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